Life, liberty, and the pursuit of not being insane
Tuesday, we published an SF/CA ballot guide for the *not* mentally insane. Our recommendations start with Steve Hilton for governor. Yes, he’ll probably lose, but he actually cares about California’s prosperity, unlike Xavier Becerra, the DUMMY who misplaced (?) thousands of migrant children
,
sometimes in trafficking situations (oopsie!). We further endorse District 2 incumbent Stephen Sherrill, a Democrat recommended by Michael Bloomberg (capitalism’s in good hands). As for the Board of Ed, we suggest Phil Kim, who wants Algebra I back in eighth grade, unlike opponent Brandee (never trust a woman named after alcohol), who opposes it in the name of
equity
... (this bitch is literally saying black people can’t do math). Also: don’t vote for District 8’s Gary McCoy, who supports supervised drug-use sites — an idea just as retarded as one LA resident’s proposal for homeless masturbation stations. Finally, say NO to Prop 40, the wealth tax endorsed by devil-spawn, Ro Khanna, whose face droops like our GDP will.
She’s Just Not That Into You
Increasingly, building the frontier of AI has meant working under intensive scrutiny: the FTC just subpoenaed OpenAI and Anthropic, meanwhile, per The Wall Street Journal on Wednesday, foreign spies are trying to steal their secrets, viewed as essential for national security. OpenAI, therefore, has been warning employees about “honeypotting,” the form of espionage where hot people feign attraction to gain access to critical info. AI engineers: that blonde bombshell you bumped into at the Linux conference? You’re probably thinking “
I’m not an idiot, I know she only loves me for my money
.” Wrong! She is NOT into you, period. The money can’t hide your autism, and besides, she is already married to the Motherland (Russia). But listen foreign spies, stop targeting AI nerds. What do they even know? Focus on honeypotting the people who really matter: writers at media startups focused on tech, politics, and culture.
Legally Blonde
Folks, there’s a new blonde named Katie Zacharia at the White House podium, and she
defies every stereotype
struggled to read basic sentences off her script and spoke at approximately five words per minute during her debut press conference. What’s more baffling is the new press secretary was previously a commentator on Fox and Newsmax, with Politico reporting that she basically auditioned for the gig by aligning her appearances with Trump’s TV-watching schedule (honestly smart). Blob media is currently fixated over the fact that she has never passed the bar exam despite calling herself a lawyer, but I feel like we moved on too quickly from her apparent inability to… read? On the one hand, this is what you get when an admin prioritizes loyalty over literacy. On the other, this is sort of an impossible job that almost everyone is bad at, and it always turns out just fine. Just ask the governor of Arkansas.
What did you think?
Your reaction is separate from the prediction. It won’t change your rule.