how to stop caring about what other people think

how to stop caring about what other people think

fixing the exhausting habit of managing your reputation in other people’s heads

ayushi thakkar

Oct 17, 2026

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i think one of the more exhausting parts of being a person is how much time we spend attending meetings that are taking place entirely inside our own heads. how somebody makes an offhand comment about a decision we’ve made and the next thing we know, we’re reconsidering something we were perfectly happy with twenty minutes earlier.

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the part that fascinates me is how easily another person’s opinion can become more authoritative than our own experience. i can spend weeks thinking carefully about a decision and feel genuinely pleased with it, only to encounter somebody who seems unimpressed and immediately start questioning my judgment. occasionally, the person in question has no particular expertise and will be thinking about something entirely different by lunchtime. somehow, i’ve still appointed them to the advisory board of my life.

i’ve always found the advice to simply stop caring what people think rather unhelpful. we’re social creatures with a legitimate need for connection and belonging, and being sensitive to how others perceive us isn’t necessarily a character flaw. it helps us maintain relationships and recognise when our behaviour affects somebody else. the difficulty begins when that sensitivity becomes so influential that we start arranging our lives around avoiding other people’s disappointment.

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